any4sia.blogspot.com
What is the meaning of this check?
Do you want me to cheat?
No...
l'm just the middleman.
Do you play fast and loose with me, or cause me trouble?
Don't you think you'll be ahead of me...
...if l fall?
Look at this!
l'm the only Golden Leg!
You can't daydream about that.
No... l don't.
l iust want to have some tick-back. Please don't tell anybody.
You're trash!
l'm sorry. Catch you later.
(crowd chant) Golden Leg! Golden Leg!
SHANGHAl 1983
(steward) Get back, now!
Mr Hung! For 20 years you're the football hero, you've been number 1
ever since Golden Leg missed the free kick and got injured...
Let's not talk about unpleasant things
Team Evil has won the Supercup the last five years. What's your secret?
There's no secret. They just have the best coach, that's all.
So you should have confidence to get the gold again.
Are you first time to be a reporter? l don't think you should ask this question.
- Mr Hung! - One more question! Mr Hung!
Golden Leg!
Hey, Brother Hung! Good morning!
Brother Hung!
Your shoe's dim.
- Let me clean it for you. - That's all right, Fung.
l'll do it.
- Hung, l'll get the car. - Hung, you said if l worked hard
l could coach a team, huh? l'm ready! l know l can do it!
l think l can train a team to be as good as Team Evil.
You think l'd let you coach for me? l'm a professional.
- But you said. You promised... - l only said.
You have to be realistic.
Look. You leg is broken.
You think people will still pay for this name?
Hung, l've worked for you for 20 years. How can you say that to me?
Because l'm not in good mood, and people can change.
You were once vey handsome but now you look disgusting.
Go back home! l've kept you here for 20 years,
l've done quite enough, and spent a lot of money, you know.
Hung!
How dare you! 20 years ago you made empty promises...
talked me into missing that kick,
and got me into this misey!
Oh, did l? Say it again, even louder.
Hey! You didn't hear anything! You want to tell the reporters?
Spit it out if you want to. (laughs mockingly)
You think they'd listen to you? You think they'd believe anything you said?
A broken-down cripple? Go ahead, talk to 'em.
- You... - Just think about it, Fung.
Do l keep you out of kindness? l just want to shut you up!
Go back to your home town.
Oh, there is one more thing. You know that mob that broke your leg?
l paid them to break it.
(laughs bitterly)
Huh! Yuppies.
(man) That's no way to kick.
What do you mean by that?
What l said was, ''That's no way to kick.''
l suppose you could do better.
There must be fusion, fusion of mind and body.
What kind of fusion would that be?
l learned it from my idol. That's Bruce Lee, of course.
He invented the ultimate kick. l saw it in the movies,
then dedicated my life to it.
lf you are interested, l can teach you all about it. l'll give you kung fu lessons.
Learning kung fu?
You just look like a cleaner.
Cleaner is just my job.
My real identity is a post-graduate student.
Post-graduate student?
Focusing on how to effectively develop Shaolin kung fu.
Here's my business card.
''Kung Fu, Shaolin School. Mighty Steel Leg.''
That's you, huh? Man! Right.
lt's true. Look at this technique.
l don't need fancy stuff like kung fu. l'm more of a philosopher, you know.
Oh, yeah?
Look at that girl.
Yeah, so she's kinda pre_. But l belong to the intellectual class...
Wait, wait, wait. Just look at this.
Look. Look, look, look, look.
- Look! - Ooh!
lf she knew kung fu, that positively would never happen.
Shaolin kung fu trains you to catch yourself when you fall.
Kung fu can work for eveyone. See?
Excuse me. Would you like to learn some kung fu?
You're crazy!
Look over there. If she had studied Shaolin kung fu Iron Hand technique,
parking would be much easier.
So kung fu is wonderFul!
Excuse me! Do you want to learn...
Okay... Get lost!
This coin is not iust yours. l should have a share.
Don't do that to ruin our relationship!
- That guy up there? - Hey, hey! What are you doing?
You're way too slow at this. Come on, let's go. Let's go.
That's it! Go on, go on. You're fired!
lf he knew the kung fu method known as ''Flying Sword,'' he'd still have the job.
Flying Sword is not from Shaolin. It's judo.
Shaolin is the source of all martial art.
SHAOLIN FOREVER
Kung fu is for eveyone.
People mistake it as violence.
Kung fu transcends all else. It's a complete way of life.
That's why l always want to 'repackage' kung fu,
so ordinay people like you will be able to know more about it.
- All right, that's enough! - But l'm not finished!
l've heard enough.
l've got a few appointments. Bye for now.
l'm giving you a great opportunity. Being a cripple can also learn kung fu.
What cripple? Who are you calling crippled?
- You have no right to call me that. - l'm sory.
l'm a cripple, so what? Do you want to be like me?
Cripple...
Cripple your mother!
Bah!
Bah! So what?
- Big deal. - Hey! Do you want these?
- l'll give them to other people... - Right, right, right, right.
- Get 'em out of here quick! - Yeah...
Cheap tricks!
(grunts dismissively)
- Hey, you! Move along, move along. - All right.
(mutters) _o_er.
Uh, excuse me. Would you help me get this up there? l could use a hand.
Whoa! How do you kick like that?
- 20 cents. - Only 20?
- There are cockey and... - No! That's it. Go on, now.
- Come on. - You got plenty for this.
SWEETIE'S STEAM BUNS
Mui! Ten steamed buns, OK?
# Hey!
# Tai Chi kung fu used to make steamed buns
# What a brilliant notion
# Fill the pot from heaven with sweet buns
# Fantastic when done
# You're a kung fu master, l can see
# And your homemade treats Iook so tasty
- What are you doing? - l sing to express my admiration
for a kung fu master, because you are truly inspiring.
Wow! So beautiful!
Don't mock me. l'm not beautiful.
Your buns are so beautiful.
Mmm.
Wow! So sweet. Was that Shifting Bodies and Transposing Shadows?
No, that wouldn't work.
lt's Move A Thousand Cattle with Four Tails.
Oh! So that's how you got it so tender, but also so firm.
The buns are 50 cents each. Two for a dollar.
- That much really? - Yes.
Well, they are worth evey penny, of course.
But this is all l have right now. Can l pay up tomorrow?
- No. - Good!
Spoken with the grace of a true kung fu master.
l am a kung fu master myself. Can l pay tomorrow?
- No. - Good!
OK! Here's the deal. l'll just have one more bun,
- and you can keep the shoes. All right? - No.
Good!
Come on, give me a break. l really like you. You're so beautiful.
That's why l sing for you. # Hey!
Don't! Stop it! Come on, shut up.
Just pay for the buns and go on.
lf you want to sing, do what that guy does.
Sing on the subway for quarters.
Oh, she doesn't know what she's talking about.
This gentleman's song is creative and sincere.
He's iust expressing his heaMelt thoughts and his deepest feelings.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
l am also overwhelmed by the impulse to break into song.
When l'm inspired, l must unleash it, or else l will... explode.
(sings in Cantonese)
Good!
(# funky beat)
(singing in Cantonese)
Ho!
(# funky music)
Ha!
Have you lost your mind or what?
Stand up straight! Put your arms down! Get to work!
You people are demented! Get back to reality! Now!
l never should have gone for a facial. What was l thinking, leaving you in charge?
You are so timid, you are worthless! You cannot do anything!
- What do you want? This is your fault! - Calm down. We are just having fun.
l came here for the buns.
(man) Hey! Where are the buns l paid for?
All right! Hold on!
Did that loafer pay for his?
Yes.
These things are repulsive! Get rid of them!
First Brother!
Brother! Brother!
- First Brother! - OK, OK. Keep working. Yeah.
Keep it all clean. Good boy.
- Are you OK? You're not sick, are you? - No, not really. l've got a hangover.
- What do you want? - l've got an idea. A revelation.
- Revelation? - Yeah.
How to promote kung fu in a brand-new way so that eveyone will start to use it.
- It needs packaging. - What packaging?
- With song! - (groans)
l had an extraordinay experience today.
- Stay away. - Kung fu, song and dance...
What do you think?
- No way. - Just ty it, brother.
Forget it.
l've already advised you to live in a down-to-earth manner.
There's a vacancy for cleaning toilets.
lt should be good for you to take it rather than to dream anything.
lf we don't have any dream in life, we'll look like a salt fish.
You see, you're a real salt fish without a pair of shoes!
How can you talk about dream?
My firing-hearted is not easy to blow out!
Why not? Just blow it out!
But l can light it up again!
Enough, already!
We both have our own lives.
Please don't bother me!
l should work to support my family.
Ho!
You mastered the Iron Head technique
and now you are iust going to forget it like it's meaningless?
No!
l practice Iron Head kung fu evey single day of my life, without fail!
- Fei! - Yes, sir?
You imbecile! All the girls have gone!
- And you iust sit here! - Wait. l know how we can work it out.
What's that?
Combining Shaolin kung fu with singing and dancing.
What's kind of Shaolin kung fu?
Look at this!
lt's no way for sole.
He's good enough.
No! How about you?
Me?
Shit!
How about your Iron Head?
lf you don't do it well, l'll kill you tomorrow.
Yes.
First Big Brother, thank you!
# Shaolin kung fu's great
# Really great
# Shaolin kung fu's good
# Oh so cool
# l am known as Iron Head
# Mighty Iron Head
# He's Mighty Steel Leg
# Oh yeah, l'm Steel Leg
(both laugh)
Be serious!
# Shaolin kung fu is great!
# Really great!
# Shaolin kung fu is great!
# Really great!
# Shaolin kung fu is wonderful!
# WonderFul!
# l'm Mighty Steel Leg!
# Mighty Steel Leg!
# He's Iron Head!
# Woh! Woh! Woh!
(coughs) l'm choking.
(music stops)
You guys suck, like you're strangling a cat!
- You dare to call that music? - Yeah! You sound like a drowned duck!
- That's right! Who wrote that trash? - You'd better tell us, or else!
(guitar string mangs)
Musical tastes are highly personal, so l don't mind your criticism at all.
We are iust starting, though. Maybe if you keep watching, you'll start to like it.
Then you'll see why we are called Mighty Steel Leg and Incredible Iron Head.
lron Head! Right!
l told you the lyrics were too intellectual.
- l'm not Iron Head. He is, you see? - Iron Head!
- l said... - Iron Head?
- Mighty Steel Leg! - Agh!
He's Mighty Steel Leg!
You still say Mighty Steel Leg?
Mighty Steel Leg!
Don't you know Chinese? He's the real...
Mighty Steel Leg!
You are really stubborn.
lron...
Do you want to fight back against me?
Thank you so much!
Happy hour is going fast.
lt's time for us to say goodbye right now.
Let's listen to music!
You crazy guys!
Let's see if you can take more!
Thank you!
(urinating)
- Ugh! - _m! (sniggers)
NO PEEING ON THE WALL
KUNG FU, SHAOLIN SCHOOL MIGHTY STEEL LEG
This what you want? To fight us all?
l promised my master l'd never fight.
You see? l told you this guy was gonna wimp out on us.
But l expect an apology!
Yeah, wimp? Well, we want an apology from you, sucker!
You told us you wouldn't use kung fu.
(yells)
l'm not here to fight. l'm here to play soccer.
You don't need to be so exaggerated!
Aaaah-aah!
Please! l give up, OK?
Do you have any change on you?
Yeah.
- 30 cents. - Hm.
- Are you stealing my money? - Guess so.
- Was that Praying Mantis style? - Yeah.
- You're giving Shaolin a bad name. - Oh.
Do you mind if l take a look at your leg? l just want to see it.
l'm not in good mood. You help yourself.
Brother, this is the real deal.
lt's indeed the Fatal Leg.
lt's Shaolin Mighty Steel Leg. It's patented.
This kung fu, you could use it to play soccer.
- Kung fu applied to sport? - Why not?
Yes, why not? Kung fu is perfect for soccer!
Why didn't l think of that before? You're that crippled man!
Yes. l'm also the Golden Leg, the famous soccer star.
- You've heard of me. And now l'm a coach. - That's perfect! You teach me to play.
- Well, l don't know. - But it's a great idea. Come on!
l'll think about it, all right? Just let me go!
What are you saying? There's no time.
We've gotta start right now!
We've got no time to lose.
- It takes discipline and training. - Good! l'm ready for it!
- Just give me a ty! - Uh... you need a pair of shoes.
Do you have the money to get the shoes back?
- No. l'm gonna get it. You see, l... - l threw them away.
- You couldn't do that! - Really?
Those shoes were a mess. They were all worn out.
- l know, but they are my shoes, and... - If my boss sees you...
she's gonna make a big fuss again. You'd better go.
Hey!
The worn shoes were gone, but do you want repaired ones?
What is it? You OK? Brother, what's the matter?
l'm fine.
- What do you want? - l finally found a way to promote kung fu,
- and this has goma be a winner. - Hm?
Kung fu soccer! Pow!
Please leave me alone!
You got me into so much trouble last time, they demoted me.
- Now l have to clean the toilets! - l've come to your rescue...
No, don't! You humiliate me again,
and my entire family will commit suicide in front of you!
Suicide's not the answer. You gotta be brave. You're a kung fu master.
What l am is a loser! Don't ever come here again.
lf you want to play soccer, ask the other brothers.
Leave me alone, please! (weeps)
No more of your kung fu ideas, please!
He's hopeless.
- Hey, Fourth Brother. - Woh! It's you, Sing.
- How the heck are you, Brother? - Look, let me introduce...
this great man, he is...
- Hello! Nice to meet you! - Uh... l'm Fung. Pleasure.
Mr Fung, it's an honor to meet a great businessman like this.
- He's got IT style. - He's actually a soccer coach.
Soccer coach! Of course! He's world-famous.
Hey, you play soccer with your legs, right?
You know l'm looking for a iob. Do you have one or not?
- l want you to ioin our soccer team. - What are you talking about?
l haven't worked in six months. l need money!
lf you can use your Empty Hand to be the goalkeeper...
What's Empty Hand? It's many years ago.
You know, l even forgot when our Master died.
We're signing up for the national Supercup tournament.
The winning team gets $1 million.
Really? So l say you're the smartest one.
You see! You're dressed up.
Our master taught us that kung fu was a sacred discipline.
Now you want to use it for soccer? You're both crazy!
You've been drinking too much! Get lost, both of you!
This is the group picture of our Master and Brothers.
l always keep it under my pillow. You should know what l mean.
Great! Let's sit down to talk about what you mean.
Come back later, and don't forget about me.
l really can't talk right now, OK? l've got clients waiting.
This is a million-dollar deal at least. Go ahead, put me through.
l gave my driver the day off, OK? l lent my car to one of my associates,
and l left my wallet in my office. It's a rough day.
So l can't have lunch with you. l never have lunch anyway.
Now, please. l'm so late! Just go away!
Come on, Third Brother. If you used the Iron Shirt technique
- to play defense... - Don't talk about the Iron Shirt.
You see! There are... full of planes in the sky.
There are full of computer on the street.
lt's the 21 st century. Please don't live in your daydream!
So l think it's a good idea of combining kung fu with soccer together.
lt's true! The prize is a great deal of money.
For Christ sake! You think l'm...
Each transaction is worth hundreds of thousands, l don't play with you lunatics.
l always speak what l think...
lt doesn't make any sense to play with this cripple.
Forgive my frankness.
Divide up our experience by the time we have to learn,
and our chance of winning is exactly zero!
- Maybe your figures are wrong. - l do this for a living!
lt's called ''probability.'' Watch this carefully.
Here.
Now it's heads, or else it's tails.
And the probability that we'Nwin
is the same as this coin Ianding on its side.
- OK. Let's see. - Just go away!
l have to meet this client for lunch! It's vey important!
We'll treat you with a Lousy Noodle. OK?
Time is money, don't you know that? l've lost a fortune just talking to you!
He's my Sixth Small Brother, Light Weight.
This is the famous soccer coach, Fung.
Fung, how are you?
- Lead Weight? - Shaolin Light Weight.
Hello, Mr Weight.
Fifth Brother, you want to play soccer?
Yes. We could use your Light Weight technique in the winger position.
Our attack should be flawless.
- Do you have confidence of this? - Of course.
Are there any pills for diet?
lt's useless.
Since the virus get into the cerebellum, it's no way for me to loose any bounds.
After our master had passed away, l became like this.
l can't even walk fast, Iet alone practicing kung fu.
Yes, you're a little bit fat, but it's not a big problem.
Forget it.
That's how l used to look.
Since l got big and fat, girls hate me.
You don't know what it's like.
l do. l also can't date a girl!
Really? Newspapers and magazines say otherwise.
- What kind of newspaper and magazine? - Oh! l beg your pardon.
Since l've this disease, l can't control myself.
l'm sory. Please leave me alone!
Brother!
Believe in yourself, and in kung fu.
Eveyone calls me ''Lazy Swine'' now. You're the only one who calls me ''Brother.''
- Thank you. - Lazy Swine!
Get me that roll of toilet paper.
Get the red one.
- Soccer? - Yeah, that's the idea.
lf you use Hooking Leg technique, our defense will be great.
- l bet that we could... - Yeah, we'd be invincible.
- Exactly. - You think l still got it?
- You think l can still do Hooking Leg? - You just need to get back into practice.
lf you believe in yourself, it will come back fast.
Dream on.
But, Second Brother, you used to clean toilets,
why are you washing dishes now?
Why?
Why is this your question? It should be l who is asking.
Why isn't my dad the richest guy, Lee Ka Sing?
Why is it that l'm so handsome, but l'm going bald so fast?
And yet you're so ugly. Why aren't you going bald?
Why does evey child go to school...
yet l was forced by that old man to learn kung fu?
And now l have to wash dishes and clean toilets?
Don't get so stressed, all right?
Your future is in your own hands, don't you know that?
Oh, it's in my own hands, all right! l'm gonna chop you into little pieces with it!
''Don't get stressed.'' Huh!
You call that clean? That toilet stinks! It's pitiful, you hear?
You clean it right, or next time you clean it with your tongue!
Your apartment is great!
lt's well furnished.
l can't imagine you work as the cleaner at downstairs,
but live in the Penthouse on the 59th floor.
You've good taste!
This kind of apartment is so popular
l can't even get one.
The air conditioning is a bit noisy, but l don't mind.
Would you mind if l move here?
Forget it. Your brothers are hopeless.
We don't need them anyway. We'll get some other players.
lt's all my fault. l couldn't reach them.
Come on!
Remember, you believe in me, l'm really grateful.
We don't have much time, and you guys have a lot to learn - like evemhing.
So listen up, and remember, you need to work as a team.
All right! We've got it! Let's get started!
Listen to me, please! Put yourself into my shoes.
That's right! This is important to me.
- Hold on, l have another call. - Hey! It's there!
lt's coming down!
What took you so long? We've been waiting for an hour.
(blows whistle)
- What are you doing? - Playing soccer!
The ball is over there!
You! Come here!
Let me see you kick the ball.
- The ball is over there. - Yes, that's right!
The ball's over there! So how can you kick it if you can't even find it?
All right. Now, there are four basic soccer skills: pass, dribble, hold, shoot.
- Coach! Let's... - Be quiet!
All right, let's start with the basics.
Yours.
All right. Now you.
Let's go. Watch it! This way. Turn. Turn!
Concentrate. Don't lose it. Go!
You can do better than that. Do more trick moves.
That's right. That's the way.
More. Even more.
Coach! Why can't l practice with them?
Your leg is strong, but you have no control, that's why.
What if you kick the ball, it hits an airplane, and it comes crashing down?
- Did you think of that? - No.
Well, think!
- Small Brother! l took your eggs, OK? - Huh?
Now, when you can kick an egg without breaking it, then you can join us.
OK.
See? It's not so easy.
Hey, Small Brother! It's just an egg.
Aaaargh!
Oh, God! My egg!
- My egg! (sobs) - l'll get you another one, grade A.
l'll get you! How could you do that to me? My egg!
Concentrate. Are you ready?
My egg!
(yells)
That's right. Come on.
Block it! Don't let it get past you! What are you doing?
Put in more energy! Even l could do it!
(deep thuds)
Oh! He's great.
l think that he can win alone.
You're wrong. Winning is going to take teamwork.
The game will last for 30 minutes. No breaks for either team.
Standard rules of soccer. l'll referee. Are there any objections?
Of course not. We're honored to have Golden Leg referee.
l'm sure your team is worthy as you are most eminent.
All of us are great fans. Thank you for your attention.
- This is Fung! - Fung.
You know Sing already.
He had a little run-in with your gang.
So we'd like to have a friendly game so we may learn from each other.
So we can forget about the past grudges.
Look. They are really sincere.
From their tidy uniform and friendly looks,
l can deeply feel their sincerity and the spirit of sportsmanship.
Thank you!
Calm down.
l'm a car mechanic. The spanner is my work tool.
- That's reasonable. - Yes, sure.
As l've just said, l'm a car mechanic,
so carying a hammer is also logical.
l know all about your team's unusual reputation,
- so l understand. - It's all exaggerated, like the tabloids.
All right, then.
Be on guard, eveybody. All right, shake hands.
Good moves!
(all yell)
Aaaagh!
Third Brother!
Come in! We're under heavy attack here.
Send reinforcements. We need more troops!
(helicopter)
Stand up.
Get up! Stand up!
Stand up now!
- What are you doing? - They are killing us! Don't you see that?
- l am the referee. l call the shots. - So is that it?
You just let us get killed?
You! Out!
You're crazy.
This is a test game!
lf you can't stand up to these fools, you don't deserve to play soccer!
We came here for a game, not to fight a war.
This game is war. You've gotta learn that.
We surrender! We surrender!
We surrender!
You dare to invite us for a game, and now you pull out without even scoring.
Are you fooling me around?
l can't stand for it anymore. My bone seems broken.
Please have pity on me!
Let me go to a doctor.
Put this on your head.
Look at your old, ugly face. Do you have any dignity?
l don't want to see your face. Put it on.
And see a doctor.
l am old and ugly, and with no dignity.
Give me that.
(sobbing)
Our First Brother is coming back.
What did you say?
l can feel it. They are all coming back.
Agh!
(yells)
- Do you have any more tools? - No more.
Final attack!
(all yell)
How could l have missed?
Help me! Help!
Thank you for helping us get our kung fu back.
Welcome back, Brothers.
We are honored.
Just a minute. l am the one who is truly honored.
You're going to make me rich! Very rich. Very rich. Very rich.
We're sory. We want to ioin you, if you'll give us a chance!
(shouts of ''Please! Please!'')
Pre_ good for a submersion kick.
A bit more work, and Team Evil will be invincible.
(cellphone rings)
What?
Spotted who?
You mean the cripple?
- What's the problem? - l'm sory, it's just...
When l was playing soccer you weren't even born yet.
- Listen... - You are only allowed...
- Golden Leg! What are you doing here? - Hung!
- Sir, this man... - It's OK.
l've got a team that wants to enter. You know it's an open match, so...
You'd better know your place. l'm the chairman of the board,
so l decide if you can enter or not. Get it?
- Yes, of course. - Did you bring your team here with you?
Here. Here.
Boys! Boys, this is Hung.
- Hi, Hung! - Hello, Mr Hung.
This is the greatest team ever! l've got to see them play!
- What do you call this team? - Well, l call it Shaolin Soccer...
OK. That's good. That's good. We'll sign them up.
l want them all to play, OK? l'll even pay your registration fee. How's that?
- Thank you. Thank you. - Hey, no problem.
We are as close as brothers, you damned cripple.
Oh, my shoes are dim again.
- White shoes are bound to get dim. - So what should you be doing?
l'll clean them for you.
l'm vey good at cleaning. Let me do it.
- Tough iobs belong to me. - (others) Let me do it! Let me do it!
(Sing) _i.
What do you want, who are you?
Where are you taking me?
Why don't you speak?
l want to go home.
- Hey, you're late. - l'll be quick, l promise. OK?
- Hey. Ty it on. - Oh, no, no, no.
- l was iust looking at the quality of it. - Touch it.
- l can't. l'll get it dim. - No, you won't. Go on.
- It wouldn't be right. - Come on. Hey.
- What do you think? - So smooth.
You want one?
No. That's enough.
Tomorrow morning, l'm playing a professional soccer game.
- You mean it? - When l'm through, l'll be a famous player.
You fixed my shoes. You remember, Mui?
lf you hadn't done that, l wouldn't be playing at all.
You don't realize how important you are to me.
l'll have plenty of money soon, and l'll get you anything you want.
When you get rich, just get some nice sneakers for me.
You deserve a lot more than that, Mui.
You should have tons of confidence, you know that?
You're in fact beautiful, and you're a kung fu master, which is perFect.
You shouldn't let your hair cover your face like that.
Hey! Come on.
Here, look at me. Look at me. Look at me. That's right.
You see? So beautiful!
- Really? - Of course.
- Is that a fly? - Yeah. l missed it, though.
- Got it this time? - Yeah, l did.
- l made your hand dim. - l'm OK.
l was saying what a beautiful girl you are.
- Do you know l mean it? - l guess so.
l am really grateful to you. You know l mean it.
Hey! Where were you?
l let you bring a girl here cos you promised to clean the floor.
Now if you don't do it, l'll get blamed for it!
You'd better go now. l'll call you later, all right?
You gotta believe in yourself. You're the best!
- l like your outFit. - l like your socks.
- How about we swap? - Good idea.
All right! Don't get nervous. Just have fun.
There'll be a lot of reporters and spectators.
When you see the reporters, remember to smile and thank the fans.
Be more enthusiastic and thank the crowd for their support.
(alr) Thank you! Thank you!
Thank you for all your support! Thank you!
- They're iust janitors. - They are still our fans!
- We love you all! - Shut up and get outta here!
So, where are all the fans you were telling us about?
This is iust the first round. We have to get to the finals.
- That's when the fans will be here! - (alr) Ho! On to the finals! On to the finals!
- Put a lid on it! - On to the finals! On to...
(whispering) On to the finals! On to the finals!
So these are the Shaolin Soccer guys!
Wait. Take a look at this guy.
What about that one?
(whistle blows)
What?
Can't l smoke?
(cheering)
What happened?
That was weird. It must be an illusion.
(whistle)
Get it!
What were you doing?
lt was an illusion.
We're a top-ranked team. Let's show them what we're made of.
Right!
Oh, come on, now!
You're not playing fair! Give us a chance to make a goal!
Hung, it's for you.
Who is this?
We are not afraid of you! It's an optical illusion!
(lion's roar)
Aaaaaagh!
(blows whistle) Goal!
What's the score? Fom to nothing?
Yeah! Iron Head scored! l scored!
Kung fu. We bring it to soccer.
Kung fu means strength, and it means skill.
l want to say hello to my parents and my kung fu master, but they're all dead. OK.
l also want to say hello to Mui. Hi, Mui. It's me. How you doing?
Have you had lunch yet? l want to see you.
- Hello. Can l help you with something? - Yes, l need...
Leave it to me. l understand. l'll handle it.
MANNY'S SALON
- Can you show us some movements? - Fa_, you go ahead.
Can you show us another one?
You want me to do one? OK. Let's do it.
Here we go.
Take it easy.
Brothers, today we say farewell to our old shoes and our old lives.
So, bye-bye.
(alr) Yaaaah!
- Ow! - Hey! You're wrecking the tables.
Oh. Sorry. Sorry.
- Hi. - Mui?
lt is all right?
You seem different tonight.
- A little. - Not a little, a lot indeed.
- Do you like it? - l've got good news...
We've won all the matches. Do you know that?
Yes, l saw you on TV.
Congratulation!
This is for you.
Thank you.
Let me introduce my friends.
Wow, it's shocking.
- Let me introduce a new friend. - Oh, my God!
- Is it human or a ghost? - She's one of us.
ls she our sister-in-law?
She's the one l told you about who makes tai chi steam buns.
(alr) Oh!
She's gorgeous.
- She is indeed gorgeous. - Oh, yeah!
Never in my life have l seen someone carying wooden blocks on the shoulders.
- Not really. l only have mo pieces. - Two pieces?
Can l ask you not to take her out during the night? She'll scare the folks.
Don't worry. l don't think there'll be a problem.
Let's be safe. Tie her up and throw her into the sea.
So you won't eat fish anymore?
Don't make fun of her. She's a girl.
Never mind. It doesn't matter.
You hear?
Although she's a girl, she's a lot of fun.
(men) What shall we play?
- Mui, give me one of your positions. - (men) Yeah!
Any more?
Get off me!
Are you angry?
Not really.
l'm sorry.
- We were just joking. - l know you were.
l'm sorry, l'm not...
Don't be like that.
So why did you do this?
Leave me alone!
Oh, Boss.
What the hell are you doing?
l just went out to play mahjong and look at you!
You look neither human nor ghost! Do you have no shame?
Hey, stop it!
Mui has got evey right to dress how she likes.
Can't you respect other people more?
- l think she looks beautiful tonight. - (men) Yeah!
- Who says she's not beautiful? - How dare you?
l scold her and it's none of your business! Who the hell are you anyway?
They are my friends.
They have said what l want to say.
l think l'm beautiful like this.
And l like my present look.
lf you don't like what you see, you can go away.
(boss) Hey! Do you know whom you are talking to?
l'm talking to you.
You are a heartless boss.
Go to hell!
Ow!
You! You hit me! How dare you?
You rebel! Who do you think you are?
l am l. l am Mui.
l'll tell your mom!
Bravo!
Mui, we were just joking. Please don't be angry.
What you did just now looked beautiful.
(others) Oh, yeah, yeah.
- You mean this? - (men cheer)
l feel that l'm different from the Mui of the past.
Yes.
Today's Mui is a very confident girl.
- You know what l think? - What?
- l like you. - l like you too, Mui.
Does that mean you're in love with me?
You... You're joking, right?
No. l'm serious. Aren't you?
No, l am not in love.
We are forever friends.
- Isn't that even better? - It's OK.
So... will you... come to see me often?
Your shoes, l mean. l can repair them.
Well, no. l can buy myself new shoes now. We have to look to the future.
l never want to wear torn shoes again.
Hey, you're cying. Don't be like that, OK?
Don't be like that.
l understand.
Sory.
Hey, hey, hey! Come on. Let's have a drink.
- There's a seat right here. - Here. Cheers!
Cheers! Eveybody. Yes, cheers.
- If we win this one, we go to the finals! - (alr) To the finals!
- Don't underestimate the enemy! - Underestimate!
We are going to chop you up and use you for stuffed dim sum!
You won't get into the finals Unless we let you.
- How can they fly so quickly? - It must be wires.
(yells)
- Hung. Good morning. - Hey. Good morning.
Come and have a seat.
You lucky devil.
You have found a good team.
Your Iron Head thing and crushing rock with your chest...
are just street tricks.
l didn't expect them to make it to the football field.
So let's get down to business.
Don't play the finals and let the whole team join me.
This is not an empty promise.
You can cash the check before you sign the contract.
That's a big sum. Even a cripple can't spend it all.
Of course. We are as close as brothers.
Thank you vey much, but l can't accept it.
What do you mean?
Do you think l am afraid of you?
l think your team is something, so l want to join forces.
Be more generous and look to the future.
Try to forget the past. OK?
Hung, l don't remember the past anymore.
l was foolish when l was young and l made a mistake.
Are you pretending? l know you very well.
Are you saying you're not greedy?
Oh, you really know me well.
Not only l. The whole team is greedy.
But what we want is not this check.
We want the national championship.
We'll meet on the field.
CHINA SUPERCUP
VICTORY AT THE FINALS
SWEETIE'S
OK. Pull over.
- Hey, Mui! - She's dead!
How could she be dead?
- Cos l killed her! - Impossible!
She's a kung fu master. You don't know a thing.
- You must have killed her in her sleep. - What do you want, anyway?
l want revenge!
Sorry. It was just a joke.
Mui's alive. But she doesn't work here.
Why not?
We are famous around here for our sweet steamed buns.
But Mui started making salty and bitter ones,
and drove away business.
l had no choice but to fire her.
- Salty and bitter? - Yes.
Now, is there something l can help you with, sir?
No, thanks.
Hey!
We have a game to play!
Boss, how many goals do you think we'll score today?
Hitting a goal isn't the only way to win.
l have more drastic ways to win.
No way!
Those American drugs are living up to their promise.
And also, the referees along with all the officials of the Football Association
are all my people.
How do you compete with me?
(yells)
No problem!
- Yeah! - You've got it!
- Good iob! - You're the man!
Aaaaagh!
lt is grievous bodily harm, it's deliberate!
That call is out of line! This game is rigged!
- Hung! Do you kick balls or people? - l prefer kicking people.
So what? l'll hurt your team...
So they'll be like you and become cripples, cripples!
Leave it, Hung.
l'm sory, eveybody. l need to rest.
Your body's not here, but your spirit is here forever.
Stay back! l'll get it!
Small Brother!
Argh!
Why don't you blow the whistle?
You're almost dead in the first half!
So how do you play the second half? Go home!
How do you play the second half?
There's nothing else to see. Shall l call the dancers down here?
There's no place for you to dance here. l shall be the one who dances.
Cha-cha-cha, cha-cha-cha...
You bastard.
Hold it!
Hold it! You want me to kick someone out?
Who took my card? Did anyone see it?
Let's see you do that to my face!
Agh! Go easy!
l am a cheater, but they are even worse.
l, Iron Head, have never been beaten like this!
Those bastards...
l know this team. They cheat!
Only l didn't know they'd go this far.
The Evil Team is not that good. They must have taken drugs.
l think we should call the police.
We have gotta play harder. We can still win this, you guys!
- l forgot. l'm a fireman! - My wife is giving birth.
- l have to be with her. - Can't she wait till the game's over?
We're in the middle of a game.
lt's not a game, they're killing us!
Wait, wait, wait! l'm begging you to stick it out.
l'm begging you! Let me out of this!
- l can hear the baby! - Hold on!
Calm down.
Calm down!
He's right!
He's right.
No matter what the situation is...
We have to finish this game!
We only have eight players left. With just one more injured...
We'll lose. We've to show them our color.
Now let's go and do it!
How? It's an impossible game.
- What are you afraid of? - Ow!
Calm down. Calm down. Calm down!
(distant shout)
SHAOLIN
l don't know if l can cope.
(alr) Shaolin Barricade Shield!
What? ''Barricade Shield''?
Hey! Some barricade!
- Are you OK? - Yeah, but look.
- Hello? Is that Chun? - Is that Frog?
l need to say something that l've been holding inside all these lonely years.
The thing is, l love you.
(growls)
Hey. Are we quite brutal?
No.
- No? - No.
So we need to be more brutal.
Let's go! Go!
What's going on?
Look out! Two of you go!
They're gonna score!
No! l don't believe it.
Argh!
Halt! Are you dying? Don't pretend!
You're right. l'm getting up. l'm fine.
Use the special attack! The clock is ticking!
What special attack?
(yells)
Argh!
We've done it! You should've go home long ago. We've won the tournament!
Shaolin team? You've only got seven men on the field.
You know the rules. You need to have another player.
Unless you get someone out here immediately, you can forfeit the game.
You have anyone?
- Thank you. - Congratulations.
Wait. l'll do it.
l'm coming in at goalie as a replacement.
Why do you make yourself look like ET?
l don't know how to trim my hair, so it's quicker to shave it.
- What do you think you are doing? - l want to help you.
You don't play soccer. Phone home like ET, Mui. You don't belong on Earth.
Will you iust give me a chance? Trust me. l can do it.
- Forget it! - l can. Look.
Your shoes are worn.
These are better.
Over there.
(whistle)
Go!
Be careful!
Yeah!
(yells)
Ohh!
l don't believe it. What just happened?
- Boss, take it easy! Be careful! - Get your hands off me!
Boss!
Boss! We're coming! Boss! Boss!
(crowd cheers)
FIRST TIME EVER: STRIKER MARRIES OWN GOALIE
TEAM EVIL COACH BANNED FOR TRAINING
Aaaargh!
SHAOLIN SOCCER CRAZE REACHES AMERICA
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